That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
