I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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