Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
