Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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