I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
