New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
