Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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