ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
