redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
