So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
