remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
