home. puking in laundry basket.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
