hell yes lets make some ravioli
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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