This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
