Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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