my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i would punch a child for taco bell
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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