There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Randomize
