im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
My bed smells like the plague
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
