I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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