what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
