i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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