He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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