windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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