Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
