Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize