I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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