girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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