I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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