the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
the room spins SO much faster in panama
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
