why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
