help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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