Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
