Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
