i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Randomize
