If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
