I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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