I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He shit in the fireplace
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
