The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
