I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
two words: eviction party
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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