my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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