the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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