sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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