I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
