Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
