pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
