I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
All the doctor said was why
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
