I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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