kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
