bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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