Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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