He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
