your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
