she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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