He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
