YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
