this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
