11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize