I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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