he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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