Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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