I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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