She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
